Love and Leave

"Let them deny themselves, take up the cross, and follow me."  Matthew 16:24

It has been over two years since I left my long-time pastorate in Berkeley to assume an interim senior pastor role at Sunnyvale Presbyterian Church. And now, I am leaving that community for yet another call. 

Love and leave.  

I know this is way of ministry but in the case of Sunnyvale, I didn't anticipate how deeply connected I would feel to the people there. Who would ever have guessed that such a garden of love could be cultivated in 2 short years? How could I have known that first day there that it would hurt so much to leave. 

And yet, even in this overwhelming grief, the horizon is filled with possibilities and a renewed sense of mission. A community in Cincinnati beckons where I know my love for God and God's people will continue to flourish. Mt. Washington Presbyterian Church has already embraced me and I am loving them right back. I'm excited and thrilled for this next step. It is a journey filled with hope and joy and I can't wait to be there.  

Even so, I know from the beginning, this will be another place where I will be called to love and leave. After all, we always take our leave at some point, don't we?

I know that Jesus had to have felt this same grief when he entered into the exhilarating vulnerability of loving his friends and family over 2,000 years ago. Relationships were his currency and he loved deeply and with abandon. So with the cross looming, how did he face that last night in Gethsemane? I ask you, how does one leave when the pain is so intense? Following God's call and command can help. Anticipating future joy can provide perspective.  Pursuing a greater good can produce courage. But even when one has a choice, does it really ease the grief?

Bas-Relief in the Garden of Gethsemane in Jerusalem

When friends are no longer proximate and prayer seems just an internal conversation, when pain is a given and support systems are gone, tears seem like a reasonable response. No wonder Jesus' tears turned blood red.  

Loving and leaving hurts.  

And yet, without Jesus' departure, the disciples would have likely remained an insular, immature bunch. Remember it was Jesus himself who told those same disciples, the ones who would betray and desert him, that they would do even greater works than him.

"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."  John 14:12

Loving and leaving - can it really lead to deeper transformation?  

The only way to know is to go forward - embracing the grief and then entering into another set of probabilities and possibilities. What is around the corner will be different but it will be good.  At least that is the hope.   

Love and leave.  I think I can do this.