Hidden

view from the cave at Kursi

A few days ago, Wendy and I go up early to explore Kursi, the traditional location where Jesus healed the Garesene Demoniac(s) recorded in Mark 8 and in chapters 5 of Luke and Matthew. Unlike many of the holy sites in Galilee, this one is part of the National Park system in Israel. What you find there are the ruins of the 5th century Byzantine church and chapel built over the cave where it is believed that the man/men lived. There are no shrines, no monks, no one selling religious trinkets. In fact, there is nothing particularly religious on the site other than the ruins. Interestingly, the Israelis misname it as the location of the miracle of the swine. Fortunately for us, there was only a handful of people at the site which afforded us the luxury of wandering, lingering, and reflecting in a bit more solitude. Sitting on the chapel wall, looking out across the placid lake, we read the story from the three gospels.

The night before, we had dinner with Iyad who was leading a tour group in Galilee. It had been another day of storms on the lake and he mentioned that these squalls rarely touched the northern-most part of the lake. This got Wendy and me speculating about the biblical understanding of the water as the underworld realm of chaos and evil. With this in mind, it made sense why the Jews inhabited only the small narrow northern portion of the lake. The fishermen may not have had experience in these kinds of storms because they would have avoided venturing too far out into the perceived home of demon-infused wind and waves.

the Byzantine ruins at Kursi

Given this possibility, the story of the troubled, demon-possessed man from the Garasene region made more sense. He lived in the non-Jewsih/pagan area. The many demons that possessed him kept him close to their true home, the chaos-filled sea and realm of evil. He suffered deeply at the whim and will of these demons. Although nothing physical could bind him, he was not free. Although he was known by everyone in the region, he belonged to no one. And even though he was visible to all - his rages and nakedness made sure of that - he was still hidden. His true personhood and potential were not perceived by anyone. Jesus was the only one who saw him and got him. Even from a distance, Jesus envisions him as he was meant to be. Despite the protest of the demons that bind him, Jesus insists on restoring him to his right mind, his true self. And after he is healed, Jesus sends him back to his community to bear witness to his healing where he can live transparently and genuinely as the person God created him to be.

Ginnosar Sculpture

What are the demons that keep us, like this man, hidden in plain sight? Most of us by our dress and demeanor, our attitudes and actions  telegraph a projection of who we hope to be. We are fearful that if we didn't hide, we'd be exposed as a failure or a fraud or both.

The irony, of course, is that this fear keeps us tethered and tied to the very things we are trying to avoid. We all want to be known and loved and what we fear is being rejected. Our investment in remaining hidden facilitates a self-fulfilling enslavement that prevents us from being intimately loved and loving freely.

Perhaps that is why, later that day, I felt drawn to the outdoor sculpture at Ginnosar. The piece has no connection to the boat rides offered there or to the "Jesus boat" that is housed in its walls. The half-hidden face reminded me of my own demons that keep me in the shadows. Instead of dwelling in the field of God's delight, I tend to remain proximate to the tombs of fear and protectionism. But I wonder, can one really hide from God? Would you want to?

Jesus tells the demons to "go" and they find their way back to the place of destruction. Evil always returns to evil, even if it is in a different form. Can I let my shadow self be banished once and for all? I'm not sure it is so easy. It seems so familiar and entrenched. I'm not sure I recognize the difference between who I'm created to be and the shadow that is so habitually attached. The demons demand, "What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, don't torture me!" Can it be that was not just the voice of the demons but my concern as well?